Blogs

AI has become a hot topic of discussion, not the least of which is in my own home. You see, I live with two teachers. They are constantly dealing with AI-driven essays and assignments, often while discovering that their own administrations are using AI to post memos to other teachers, students, parents, and the public. Not my problem, but I get why they're upset and often confused. AI has been around for years, so it's not new Artificial intelligence has been part of our live

We all want to be accepted for who we are, especially for those of us with different lifestyles, life choices, and gender expressions. In the past, when people have asked me about how I'm accepted as a cis-gay man, I've told them frankly that I'd take tolerance over being beaten up or killed any day of the week. As we seem to be moving toward a more authoritarian society worldwide, I still see this as true, at least in this case. Somewhat, at least. I'm hearing from far too m

I believe in and practice compersion. Part of that means that if one consistently embodies that concept, we don't usually feel the need for others' approval to enjoy our pursuits. But how would you answer this question, which recently came from a colleague over a coffee conversation: Sometimes I just want to share my joy with my partner, but they're not interested. "Just go enjoy what you want to do," they say. How can I keep my joy when I'm alone... even if I don't want to b

I've written about kindness in the past. Being kind is so easy, and especially needed in light of today's world. There was an article by Rosi Golan published in HuffPost. (The link to the article is at the end of this blog.) She relates that a flight attendant noticed she was struggling to get her bag into the overhead compartment and asked if she could help her. "Whoa," she said, laughing. "What do you have in here, bricks?" Golan told her it was her husband's ashes. The w

It has been said that with gay men, we feel like we want to be the knight. And yet... in the next instant, we long to be the damsel. WHAT a crock of shit. (I'm quoting myself, so I can diss that crap right from the start.) But is there any truth in that? Men who love men are raised just like heterosexual guys. There's only room for one person at the top. We have to be in charge. We have to beat everyone out of the prize, whatever that prize is. What about the guy who's intere

I attempt to provide solutions for my readers and clients, not a litany of more insurmountable problems. However, the current global situation has recently affected me personally. This convinced me to share my own experience, and perhaps a bit of hope for your day. It's no surprise to you that we are enduring a shitshow here in the U.S., along with the rest of the world. It used to be that most of our leaders in high places could be trusted to at least exemplify a modicum of

I spoke about this idea of labels in the first part of "Are You Your Labels?" Toward the end of part one, I suggested that we take a look at how we label ourselves, or how others might label us. I hope you took time to look at that for yourself! Continuing with examples, let's look at how three common areas of labeling can empower or limit us, depending on how we use them. These areas are: health, marital status, and ethnicity . Health “I can’t do < BLANK > because of < BL

Do you like to be labeled? You may think that our sexual orientation, gender, race, or cultural background (to name only a few) aren't really labels. "That's just who I am!" you might say. Really? While that may be true in some cases, the point is not the term "label" itself, but what we think of when we adopt certain labels. Take fathers, for instance. While the outer expectations of what a father’s responsibilities are have changed over the past fifty years, many of the inn

In 2011, I closed my 25-year massage practice. In 2019, I retired from active ministry after serving four ministries for over 30 years. And, on 16 February 2026, I flew my last trip as a professional flight attendant. As of today, 1 March 2026, I have officially retired from American Airlines, nearly 29 years after I started flying in May of 1997 at age 47 for Kiwi International Airlines, shortly followed by AirTran Airways. Graduation photo from August 2000 - Class 2000-20 T

Feb 18, 2026 This is a reposting of an article I wrote for GoNaked Magazine in May 2025 when I began my eighth decade. I wanted to share it with my website and Substack subscribers before I make a special announcement on 1 March - stay tuned! For now, please enjoy this glimpse into how I navigated this marvelous process I recently went through. “How the heck did that happen?” That was my mom’s response when I recognized she had turned ninety years old. I asked her if she fel

The love, respect, concern, and joy that the musicians and singers show for one another brought tears to my eyes.

(Arkem, photography by Eivind Hansen, used with permission.) The graphics above and below are of my friend, Arkem, a popular entertainer, singer, and songwriter living in the United Kingdom, who probably has even more talent and life experiences that I have yet to learn about. One of my teachers, Sandhi, once gave a talk about how we should all “Live life, full-tilt boogie!” Arkem, I believe, would have made even Sandhi drop her jaw. While my past might appear as if I often l

Today, we are faced with doubts about the simplest facts of life. We can no longer believe everything we see, hear, or read at face value without consulting the source. Yeah. I know. A lot of questions come up, but stay with me on this. · Is the latest video for real or an AI creation? · Is that latest, “Did you hear about…” designed to make our lives better, or make us fear the future, or support our own ideologies? · Is the article we’re reading based on facts, or is it des

Welcome to 2026! As I do from time to time, I’m releasing my blog today to someone I respect and want to feature. His name is Marc Peridis. I met Marc while we were both teaching classes during the COVID pandemic for Tantra 4 Gay Men/T4GM. Since then, we’ve kept in touch, and I’ve sought his guidance on numerous occasions. We spent seven unforgettable days in Spain together in 2024 with a dozen other practitioners like ourselves. I started my tantra work before Marc was born,

"It's so easy!" "Oh... silly... anyone can do that!" "Why do you need help?" And, my favorite one: "All you have to do is... blah, blah, blah." Every video you see on social media is the painstaking result of countless takes, hours of editing, and that's after all the prep that goes into any posting. They make it look easy. But if you've ever tried some dance moves from online, bent yourself into that yoga pose, or done any DIY projects around the house after searching YouTub

Terms come and go. Back in the 1980s, we were all talking about our paradigms and how important they were to having a life worth living. The term is still used today, but not nearly as much. The term unprecedented has been used in conjunction with global warming, economics, the actions of world leaders, and pretty much any seemingly unsolvable issues. But are they really unprecedented? History tells us “no.” Let’s look at primarily American issues. First, let’s take immigra

Empathy is one quality that allows us to help one another. As a counselor and tantric sex therapist, this asset is crucial to my work....

Othering is suggesting or demanding that we act differently from the way we feel compelled to present ourselves. The idea of othering is...

Let me start by saying I’m not about “settling” for anything, nor do I feel we should sit back and wait for the universe to send our...

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay I got it. More of my clients are feeling it. I’d be surprised if you weren’t, too… at least...