Guess Who’s Turning (or rather turned) 70!

Feb 18, 2026

This is a reposting of an article I wrote for GoNaked Magazine in May 2025 when I began my eighth decade. I wanted to share it with my website and Substack subscribers before I make a special announcement on 1 March - stay tuned! For now, please enjoy this glimpse into how I navigated this marvelous process I recently went through.

“How the heck did that happen?”

That was my mom’s response when I recognized she had turned ninety years old. I asked her if she felt different after her birthday.

“Not really,” she responded. “But I need to get a new mirror. Some old lady keeps looking back at me when I get up in the morning!”

I can relate. I turn seventy this month.

I don’t feel seventy.

But I am.

SIDE POINT: With turning seventy, I’ll be entering my eighth decade of life. I know. I’ve been dealing with turning seventy without recognizing that turning seventy means the end of my seventh decade of life. A friend informed me of that over a glass of wine. Slapping the snot out of her wasn’t an option at the time… but I did consider it.

It’s not like this birthday came as a surprise to me. I’ve spent the last ten years ensuring I could retire comfortably. I thought I had it all sorted. Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit, followed by open heart surgery. … I wasn’t surprised by the surgery—a few years before, my doctor informed me I had a congenital heart defect in my aortic valve. I knew I would eventually have to have the procedure to replace the valve and repair an aneurysm.

However, having a stroke after the surgery while I was recovering in the ICU was not in my plan.

The surgeon had advised me that a stroke after a lengthy open-heart surgery was a possibility. I didn’t expect to be in the five percent group who stroked out. I’m the one who takes care of everyone else. No one usually takes care of me. The stroke dramatically changed that.

I couldn’t form a complete sentence and had difficulty recognizing what people were telling me. Words to express myself escaped me, words I knew but couldn’t say out loud. This was terrifying and frustrating since I’m a published writer of over twenty books. I have only partial memories of the three months after the stroke. The next three months are more complete, but I continue, now four years later, to be reminded by others of things I can’t recall.

When we’re young, we can’t wait to grow up. As we age, we can’t understand where the years go. There is a difference between the six-year-old who can’t wait till Christmas and the sixty-year-old who feels last Christmas was like yesterday. For the kid, six months is one-sixth of her life. But for the older man, a year represents one-sixtieth of his existence.

Time is relative… and it is fleeting. I still feel much younger than my years, though I know how old I am. I wanted to be muscular like my best friend when I was younger. He was my first adolescent crush and built like the proverbial brick shit house. I graduated, weighing only 135 pounds at six feet two inches. I had a twenty-eight-inch waist and thought I was pathetic compared to him.

Looking back at those pictures, I didn’t realize what a hot little twink I was! Older men (probably in their forties!) thought I was cute. I didn’t. I also remember feeling “not enough” in my thirties, only to look at those pictures twenty years later and think, “Wow. I had arms and nice pecs!”

These trips down memory lane helped me remember that what I see in the mirror today is who I am. If there’s something I want to change, I change it when I can. I no longer wait to be told by others but have relaxed into the knowledge that, for the most part, I’m whole, complete, and perfect as I am.

Terry Cole-Whittaker wrote a book over forty years ago entitled What You Think of Me is None of My Business. That’s been a mantra of mine since I first read it. Recently, however, I’ve expanded on that concept by reminding myself and others of this fact:

What we think others think of us is far less important than what we think about what others are thinking of us.

I know. It sounds convoluted, but it’s true. (Just read it a couple of times till it clicks. Trust me on this.)

We don’t know what others think about us, but we often speculate. More often than not, we’re wrong. Even if they tell us something we don’t care to hear, the comment or attitude comes from their own experience, not ours. I’ve said in the past that—usually with an air of arrogance or superiority—I don’t care what other people think about me. But I’ve been caught dressing a certain way or acting in a manner that doesn’t suit who I am today. Age has made me believe in myself more than in others’ opinions, but I still have my days. Doubt can be reasonable—it gives me cause to pause and reflect on whether I truly believe what I say and teach.

I hear other older folks say they want to be younger while retaining all the knowledge they’ve gained. I believe this desire stems from an attempt to change our past, which is an exercise in complete futility. Over the years, I’ve been lauded and criticized for expressing some of the most outrageous opinions, often simultaneously by people around me. I remember saying similar things in my youth. I was told my remarks were inappropriate and unacceptable for a boy or young man to express. Now that I’m older, I can get away with saying almost anything, usually without repercussions. People assume I’m just older and entitled to my views, and they don’t correct me even when they think I’m wrong. Perhaps they fear that I might be right!

Kindness, mindfulness, and childlike wonderment are the basis for how I live my life. Much comes from over thirty years of practicing and teaching a tantric lifestyle, but a good deal also comes from my upbringing, grounded in sound, old-fashioned common sense. My maternal grandmother never finished middle school, and my mother didn’t pass her GED until she was 75. Yet both were wise beyond the education they felt they needed to succeed.

Guys don’t, for the most part, have the type of transitions women do. Females have the maiden (menses), mother, and crone (menopause) transitions. I teach the boy/man/elder model for men. The boy can also be seen as the child, the man as the warrior, and the elder as the sage. Other designations work as well. We must learn to honor where we are, be who we have become, or change what we no longer care for. It’s healthy to find other men, as we do in this magazine, to celebrate our transitions however we desire.

Just because I’ve moved into the elder/sage episode of my life doesn’t mean I have all the answers. I tell my counseling clients up front that I have little or no idea what they should do with their lives. But my education, background, and therapy skills are filled with ways of helping others find the answers within themselves. We all have our own answers.

Sometimes, it just takes someone else to nudge us along.

That someone doesn’t have to be older than us. As the “out of the mouths of babes” adage suggests, our mentors can be younger. You’ll probably miss out on essential facts of life today if you’re over fifty and don’t have a mentor-type person under thirty, particularly when the rapidly developing AI and ever-changing computer devices are involved. The publisher of [GoNaked Magazine], Nick Vannello, is a fantastic example of someone in constant motion, learning more and deepening his knowledge. I love that about him. The idea of living in childlike wonderment means we can always learn more about the sacred ideas and beliefs we’ve held for most of our lives.

The only constant in life is change.

So… seventies, here I come! Some of you reading this will think you’ll never get there. Others are older than me, and I honor who you have become! You might fear growing older or being alone. Men who are dealing with the same problems I’m facing are nodding.

The great thing is that we aren’t alone. Thousands of us subscribe to [GoNaked Magazine] or read [similar articles or blogs]. Men’s groups of all ages are available online and locally in many cities. Reach out to others for the help you seek, and be there for your brothers.

One of my mentors, Jason Tantra, says, “Tell me about your life, and I’ll tell you about your sex… and if you tell me about your sex, I’ll tell you about your life.” My therapy and counseling clients may come to me for help with their sex lives or relationships, but often, the rest of their lives reflect the same problems they’re having in the original reason for their session. I teach tantra as a lifestyle, which means that I help men bring tantric principles out of the bedroom and into the boardroom… their marriages… their hobbies… and everywhere else.

My life is full. I’ve already retired from thirty years as an ordained minister and twenty-five years as a licensed massage therapist. …I’m writing and will publish three new novels this year. I continue to see counseling clients through telehealth and work one-on-one with tantra students across the U.S. I’ll spend time in my gardens and travel for pleasure in my free time… and yes, I do have free time! …

I leave you with two quotes I’ve developed and used over the years, both for myself and others. I hope you find them useful!

We have freedom of choice but not of consequences... or rewards.

&

You can’t have a relationship with someone’s potential.

With love, truth, and playfulness, Terry Drew Karanen

P.S. Here’s some practical stuff to have a life worth living!

Some people have asked what I do to stay healthy in all areas of life. Here are some daily or weekly routines I’ve developed, which I try to follow to the best of my ability. You do not have to do any of this, and I’m not providing medical or dietary advice, as my degrees do not permit that! But, if even one thing speaks to you, give it a try, then try another… if you want!

• Fresh-squeezed lemon juice in eight ounces of warm water upon rising

• Rub the lemon pulp on age spots (hands, scalp) and elbows/knees/heels

• Rx, vitamins, supplements

• Meditation: Loving-kindness meditation daily (www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d_AA9H4z9U); TM/Transcendental Meditation (daily, twenty minutes in the morning and later afternoon); chakra balancing and energy merging meditations (one to two times a week)

• Reading for pleasure and knowledge – I read upwards of 100 male/male romance novels each year, plus many more books or audiobooks on a variety of subjects

• Forty-five minutes MAX, at any screen, followed by anything physical that gets me moving for the next 15 minutes

• Gym, strength training three to four times a week; [yoga] three times a week; yoga stretches [daily]

• Eat well-balanced, nutritious meals that coordinate with my lifestyle or goals

• And… I enjoy eating whatever I want once a week, along with other foods or treats most people avoid (see my first quote above!).

• To do all this and more, I faithfully practice “D.D.” (Delete Distractions) with all activities and people in my life – it’s incredible what I can accomplish when I stay off social media and no longer watch hours of repetitive, pathetic news and meaningless TV shows!

• Once or twice a year, go over your contacts, social media accounts, and address book (if you still have one)—If someone no longer supports and celebrates who you are today, why are they still in your life?

---

Could you benefit from hiring a counselor, therapist, mentor, or coach? My training includes all these modalities. If you need someone to chat with, consider reaching out to me today!