Conquering Frustration - Part 1 of 3

Today’s article is titled “Conquering Frustration.” It’s the first of a three-part series I’ll be releasing this month.

I write with the hope that more people will find my philosophies and forty years of experience something that gives them comfort in today’s world. And… perhaps answers to questions that seem to be a sticking point in various areas of life.

While I am now fully retired from all my careers, I still come into contact with a large group of people through online groups I lead and others I participate in, my counseling or mentoring clients, and even friends and others I interact with throughout the week.

One thing I’m seeing is how frustrated people are with the world conditions, regardless of where they live on the planet. The first of this three-part series will address today’s topic: The frustration many people worldwide are feeling.

As we go forward, I am open to more articles you’d like to hear about, ones that tackle what may be troubling you or making you feel what is stopping you from having the life you want. You can leave a comment or suggestion below, but the best way to get my attention is by email, which is listed at the end of this article and in the recording.

Today, frustration seems like a good place to start! So let’s get right into it, shall we?

No one enjoys being frustrated. It gives us the feeling of helplessness, of being a victim, and not seeing a way out. But conquering frustration? That action is not what I usually see as a way of change, at least in the way we have seen it over the past centuries.

I am not one to talk about or wage battles of war. I believe the universe is a friendly, supportive place—what I like to call a user-friendly universe.

Perhaps the difference lies in another form of the word, similar to conquering. That would be “conqueror.” Napoleon and Alexander the Great were conquerors. Their soldiers fought a battle for what they wanted, but their sole purpose was material possessions, status, or land.

The Suffragettes of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, however, were waging a war of their own, but not in the same way or with the desired outcome. They, like others before and after them, were not fighting for possessions. They were fighting for principle. They were conquering outdated fears and attempting to change the government’s attitude.

Soldiers do not have to have a principle for which to fight. Soldiers follow the orders given by their commanders.

Given this situation, the questions are: What are we fighting for? What is it that we are attempting to conquer?

Instead of material possessions, we find ourselves as spiritual warriors, enacting changes around us for the good of all people, or within ourselves if we are dealing with personal issues we want to alter.

If frustration is a part of your life, blindly fighting what (or who) appears in front of you from a soldier’s perspective will not bring about change. But who of us leads a life completely devoid of frustration? No one I know of.

I consider myself a pretty happy person. I am not easily frustrated and, in most cases, satisfied with my life. There are differing degrees of satisfaction in my life, but frustration is a part of the growing process we call life.

I have heard frustration and boredom both described the same way. It has been said that they are both anger without enthusiasm. If we are bored, it is usually because we are really upset, thinking we have nothing to do, or do not have the real desire to do something.

If we are frustrated about some situation in our lives, we are probably a little ticked off at ourselves or someone else. In either case, we feel victimized, primarily because we feel the situation has no workable solution.

If we feel like a victim in any area of our lives, we may feel stuck and without a choice. But we do have a choice.

My belief is that we always have a choice. In fact, we already have a choice for whatever is the focus of our frustration, even if we do not want to face the consequences of that choice. In other words:

We have freedom of choice, but not of consequences or rewards.

So what is the way out of, or through, the feeling of frustration, the discovery of our choices, and the move from a victim consciousness to one of empowerment?

Like much in our lives, overcoming frustration is an art. An art is like a craft, not something that happens overnight, but something that we must practice. Practicing to become efficient at anything, be it a musical instrument or a foreign language, requires persistence, commitment, and patience.

If we are learning a new skill, we are steering our mind to a productive goal. But if we are overcome with frustration, we may be steering our mind toward an unproductive, useless, or destructive goal, or we might just be too hard on ourselves.

Our self-image, the way we really appear to ourselves in our own thinking, governs what happens in our life. The pattern of our self-image is firmly fixed in our subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is a storehouse of all sorts of experiences and beliefs. We do not have to be subject to outdated ideas, but this concept is more commonly seen as “That’s just the way our family does it,” or “Well, you know how that works, right?” You begin to see what kind of programming we are faced with.

While thoughts like guilt, shame, or religious upbringing that we may no longer agree with can be a factor in our frustration, it does not mean we cannot do something about it. Change is the only constant in the universe. As soon as we determine to change something in the way we think, the universe begins to act on the new thought, not the one we have been living with.

To change their thinking, many people use affirmations. They can be helpful, but unless we change our thinking, spouting trite or ultra-positive affirmations will do nothing.

Affirmations are very effective in reprogramming our subconscious while also allowing subconscious doubts to surface so we can consciously examine some of our core beliefs.

What we must change are some of the basic paradigms by which we live. A paradigm is more than an example of something, a representation of something, or a simple thought about a particular subject or situation. The word itself was all the rage forty years ago in the midst of New Age thinking.

Today, we do not find it used as frequently, but we do hear similar terms, such as model, framework, or archetype, as the basis for motivational seminars or business meetings on why we believe what we believe.

Making a decision to change is the first step in conquering frustration. Indecision is the first of five major roadblocks to having a less frustrating life. Here are the other four roadblocks:

Second, you worry about yesterday, today, and tomorrow. This is also referred to in psychology as the Circle of Concern.

Third, you try to do too many things at one time.

Fourth, you wrestle with problems all day.

Fifth, you refuse to relax.

Does any of that sound familiar? Each of those is a way of increasing our frustration on any number of topics, without accomplishing anything more than becoming more frustrated and angry, less motivated to change, or perhaps acting in ways that do not change the situation, often while putting ourselves and others in danger.

On the other side of the coin, we have just four steps to relaxation:

First, you forgive yourself.

Second, you forgive others.

Third, you see yourself at your best.

Fourth, you keep yourself in check by changing your thinking.

Did you see yourself in any of the five roadblocks to living a less frustrating life? Or, perhaps see what is missing in the four steps to relaxation?

Not to worry. This is only the first article in a three-part series examining an extremely individual and yet common issue in our world today. The next article in this triad will break down the roadblocks and show us how to live a more relaxed life. The final article will cover one of the life events we dread and how to learn to accept it as part of life, live through it, and move forward.

If you found this article helpful, please share it with others as we continue to build community in cyberspace.

Till then, please know that I value the time it took to listen to this recording or read the article. There are many other ways you might have used the past few minutes. I am honored that you chose to spend them with me. Be well always, and keep in touch!

To learn more about my work and background, please check out my Linktree profile: linktr.ee/terrydrewkaranen

You may also email me through my website or directly at terry@terrydrewkaranen.com

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